“Jesus Christ, please turn off the lights.* Kill the river¹ and kill the fire² and protect us. Eat orange donuts for me.³”
* He can’t sleep because his uncle’s table lamp is on.
¹ The complete term is “Black River.” That means flood, which happens here quite often.
² There was a fire nearby sometime last week. He was the first in our household to notice the blaze while looking out the window.
³ He likes Dunkin Donuts’ Choco Butternut right now and, well, wants to share it with Jesus.