Manang Confessions

I realize that I have mostly turned into someone I vowed I would never become when I was a teenager.

I have such a manang wardrobe and I’m proud of it. My mother recently commented on my “new” choice of wardrobe. I couldn’t understand what she meant until she pointed out that I used to prefer small, tight-fitting clothes (shudder). That was maybe in high school, when I started to become style-conscious and began my (still ongoing haha!) struggle with fashion. Back then, I felt pressured to wear clothes that other girls wore because I wanted to look thin and cool. Today, although I still don’t have taste, I dress just for myself. It’s function over fashion for me. Before I buy anything, I make sure that it’s well-made and I can move freely in it without my unsightly flabs showing.

I care about my skin. I was in high school when I learned to enumerate all of my skin’s imperfections but didn’t have the patience to address them. I tried a few cleansers and when none produced a miracle, I quit and just accepted that I always had to stand at the back of the room, behind my pretty classmates. Now, although my skin still isn’t perfect, it does look better and I’ve come to terms with the maintenance work (I giggled a bit because “maintenance work” somehow reminds me of linemen and plumbers, but I’m not gonna change it.) needed for the remaining imperfections.

I appreciate my body. I used to feel terribly insecure about my waist and my thighs. I thought that 25 inches was the upper limit for women’s waistlines. I was constantly upset because I never (even today) achieved that. My thighs, on the other hand, could feed an entire country if cooked and would cause freak high tides whenever I got close enough to sea. Now, I don’t worry about my waist so much as how it looks in proportion to the rest of my body. I have no problem with my thighs anymore too, partly because all the walking that studying in UP forced into my daily routine had reduced their girth to a less hideous number, and partly because I have other, manang things to worry about.

My bags are getting bigger. During the few times I went out as a teenager, I always made it a point to just carry a purse that was as small and as light as possible. Today, going out without a lola bag that contains an entire studio apartment is unimaginable. I was going to say that I’m turning into my mom but ironically, she herself is surprised at my bag’s weight. I hate it too, but whenever I run through its contents, I always conclude that everything in it is Absolutely Necessary.

I want to be a good housekeeper. Growing up, I and my siblings got used to having help around the house all the time. My mother always made sure we had a kasambahay so we children could devote our time to our studies (I wouldn’t recommend that). It worked for me then, but motherhood just changed me. One day, I want my family to tell their friends that they want to go home to my cooking. I want everyone to seek my help finding things that are in plain sight. I want a household that stops functioning without me.

There should be more items on this list, but I can only endure so much embarrassment.

Wish List

It’s the season of giving and of wanting to get more than to give. Here are some things I know I’m not going to get (I and the people around me are not really gift-y people) but would love to receive. I’m putting this list together because I’m materialistic and self-centered! Also, I have time.

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Physiogel Cleanser I love it because it cleans the face without drying it out like most other cleansers do. (The worst one I tried was Celeteque. No matter how little I used on my face, my skin always felt dry and tight afterwards–like I had invisible taffy pullers pulling at my skin from both sides.) Also, this is the least selfish wish on this list because I can share it with my son. (image source)

Light Planner These things are gorgeous. I bought my first one last month and I just adore it–from the colors and the layout to the paper itself. There are no dates so you decide when to begin, which days to leave out (you know, in case you want to make it a strictly-work-only planner, etc), and how much space to use for each day. There are no lines except in the last portion which can be used for notes, and the top left area of each spread (probably intended for weekly goal-setting or something similar). It’s the best planner I’ve ever had so I want an additional one for when I have to switch planners in October 2017. (image source)

Airtight Food Container I want this because 1.) I plan on bringing fruits and veggies at work as baon now; and 2.) it’s a nanay/manang fantasy (I was going to say “ultimate” fantasy but that would mean a whole set of containers, not just one!) (image source)

A Better Fish Home Here I go again about my nameless Betta fish that I get too emotional about. Right now he’s in a tiny fish bowl with some pebbles and a few Elodea stalks that I bought from Bio Research. Soon I’ll get a bigger tank, add more plants, and install a pump and a filter in it so he and I can enjoy each other’s company for a longer time. (image source)

Gift Certificates I’d love to get gift certificates from 1.) bakeries or stores that sell sinfully yummy cakes; 2.) SM Department Store, 3.) National Bookstore; and 4.) any grocery! (image source)

Accordion Folder I get so obsessive over files and paperwork. I have this old accordion folder where all of my documents are stored and organized into neatly labeled pockets. It’s one of the few things I am proud of in my life (hahaha!). Everything’s there–birth and baptismal certificates, clearances, IDs, medical certificates, work documents, birthday cards, and more. It’s still in one piece, but it’s pretty beat up. (image source)

Ube Halaya from A Taste of Heaven We buy ours from one of the stalls that stand in front of Hypermarket in SM North EDSA (Main building). I can’t recall the name of the stall. I’m not even sure if they are indeed standing in front of the supermarket. My sense of direction is almost nonexistent. I’m pretty sure I can’t find my way out of a straight tunnel on my own. The stall is located along the hall leading to the direction of SM Annex. It’s standing opposite Goldilocks, I think. For some reason, although I’m not sure about any of the details, I find it each time. My sweet tooth is smarter than I am. (image source)